| Karen Ryce Presents... |
| Power of Respect Mini-Course Lesson Eleven: The Automatic Shift Written Version |
| Lesson Eleven The Automatic Shift This shift can happen even after one good session (this has happened) or it may take a few, but it does not take very many to learn these simple skills. The most important skill everyone learns immediately, because everyone wants to have their way: It has to be win-win, cross it off if you don’t like it. “This process may seem time consuming, but once everyone is practiced at it, you can eliminate the writing, and finding agreements becomes almost automatic. Then the peace in the family seems worth all the efforts at changing in the beginning.” (Karen Ryce’s Column Book the Power of Respect) This is what happens when people understand and accept the process, and practice it a little: it shifts into another gear. It consumes minutes, even just seconds of time. It is understood and accepted that each person deserves to have a satisfying experience. And you all have the tools and skills to make this happen. Grandmother/Grandson Session “Grandma?” “Yes, Tony?” “I want to have three more guys over this weekend to study for a big test.” “Can they each bring some snacks? I don’t have time or enough food to feed that many hungry boys.” “I’ll let them know. So is it ok?” “Sure it’s fine with me.” This is how quickly differences can be settled now: no setting up the meeting, no writing things down. Just quickly getting to agreement, making sure your needs are met and helping others get their needs met. Family Session “We’re all here. Is it ok with everyone to have a short meeting?...Good...So, what’s up, Max?” “Well, I thought after dinner would be a good time for us all to meet. Something came up today that we need to agree on. I’m being offered a scholarship to soccer camp. It’s happening right during our vacation. I want to accept...but I need it to be ok with all of you. Maybe there is something I’m not thinking of.” “Is it going to be near here?” “Yeah, but I have to stay on the college campus where it is being held, for the whole week.” “I don’t have a problem with this. Anyway family vacation is for two weeks. You can still spend one week with us. Does anyone else have a problem with this?” “For sure you have to do this, Max.” “Thanks, Gabby. Thanks everyone. I’ll tell them tomorrow that I can go.” Now in only moments, something that could have caused a lot of trouble and bad feelings in the family – you have to be part of the vacation, I’m going and I don’t care what you say – is solved to everyone’s satisfaction. Peace and harmony reign. |
