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                              Meeting Guidelines for End Conflict NOW!

This is to have the Meeting Guidelines handy:
Step One
Set Up the Meeting
1. Be sure that the time and place chosen and decided on is agreeable with everyone involved.
2. Be sure that you have paper and pen and a surface to write on.
3. THIS IS CRITICAL! Be sure to explain that as a group (or both of you, if only two of you are involved) you are
going to decide on things that you all agree to. If one of you doesn’t like something, that will not be chosen. In
fact, that will be crossed off the list.
Step Two
Ground Rules
(these are explained and understood at the very beginning of the meeting)
1. Define the problem.
    a. Make sure everyone has the same understanding of the problem before you write the final version of
    the problem.
    b. Write down the problem.
2. Who “owns” the problem? Whose problem is it? Just because something is a problem for one person, it does
not mean that it is a problem for everyone.
    a. Write down who owns the problem.
3. The solution must be a win-win solution.
    a. Everyone needs to understand that no solution will be used if one person does not like it for whatever
    b. That idea will be crossed off the list of possible solutions.
    c. If only one part of an idea is not liked, only that part needs to be crossed off.
4. During brainstorming, which happens next, no one criticizes any idea, no moans no groans no negative
gestures. This helps keep the ideas flowing.
    a. All ideas are written down. (If anyone has trouble with this, they need to be reminded that the idea will
    not be used if someone does not like it.)
Step Three
1. Brainstorm for solutions.
a. Write down every idea, no matter how strange, no matter how silly, no matter who likes it or not.
Step Four
Evaluating Options
1. Discuss and eliminate any solutions or parts of solutions that are not acceptable to any of the participants.
2. Cross off the idea or part of an idea. It is not usable. Using it would be disrespectful to the person who does
not like it.
a. If all ideas are crossed off, you must brainstorm again.
b. You can do it right then, if everyone agrees to do so.
c. However, it is more likely that you will have several ideas or parts of ideas to work with.
Step Five
1. Decide on acceptable, win-win solutions. Maybe one idea or parts of several ideas will fit together to make a
mutually agreeable plan for a solution.
2. Be sure the decision is written down and that everyone understands it in the same way.
3. This is very, very important, if it is to work!
4. Misunderstandings cause a huge number of problems, huge!
Step Six
Take Action
1. Put the solution or solutions into practice.
2. Since each person knows their part of the solution as negotiated and written down (Step Five), now action
can proceed.
3. Decide when you are going to meet to let each other know how the plan is working.
Step Seven
1. Revisit and evaluate the success of the solution or solutions.
2. If everything is going well, continue on.
3. If there are some problems, go through the seven steps again to find something that seems like it will work
7 Simple Steps To End Conflict NOW!
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